


fire is more than scars

by jesuisdeux



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang & Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Aang is a great person change my mind, Angst, Firebending & Firebenders, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26025580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisdeux/pseuds/jesuisdeux
Summary: Aang is afraid of fire. Zuko understands him. But he is not sure how to help him. If his uncle was there, he would know. He always knew everything.
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 226





	fire is more than scars

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of a burn mark, phobia of fire, nothing graphic actually

Zuko took a bowl of rice and sat beside the fire. He didn't even flinch because of fire, it was a success, his uncle would be proud. For a moment, he thought he heard his uncle's voice behind him.

"Well done Zuko! I knew you could do it."

His heart ached when he imagined where he could be now: behind prison bars, on a cold floor, eating cold rice, maybe? Maybe he wasn't even getting any food. Would guards taunt him? Would Ozai or Azula taunt him? Zuko suddenly lost his appetency.

Everyone was talking, they were making jokes and compliments, and there were laughs on the air. It was good. It was better than the palace. Better than the voice of his father. It was also better than eating between the cold metal walls of a disgusting ship. If only uncle could be here...

He wasn't paying attention to the sounds though, his gaze was on his bowl. He was thinking about bending. Or teaching bending. He remembered bending fire for the first time. He was so scared of dark, so he lighted up a candle in his room. It was funny because years later and there he was: being proud for not crying at the sight of fire.

And now they were expecting him to teach Aang. Teaching bending, to the Avatar himself. He was the worst choice for it in all nation. Not just because he was scared of what he was bending, but because he was also just a bad teacher. He was doing things, yeah, but he didn't mostly know their names. He did some moves but he didn't know techniques names or delicate parts to teach someone. He couldn't explain it to one another. Bending felt like walking and how could he explain it to someone? “Look, I put my foot in front of the other!” He was terrible at his job.

And Aang wasn't doing it any better!

He was just like Zuko, probably. He didn't like fire. Maybe he was scared of it. Zuko understood him. He didn’t know how to help him, that was all. He was never the doctor, he was always been the patient. Now he had to be the doctor.

He has seen Aang with other elements; he was in peace while bending, mostly. Air and water was now his old friends, and he absolutely wasn’t afraid of earth. Softer than earth, but playing along with earth.

But with fire there was always hesitation, he was never really confident with it. He didn’t liked the postures, didn’t like using all he can do with fire. Zuko knew Aang was good at bending, better than him maybe, just in a few weeks of training, but... Something stopped him. Every time, while he could do something great, he held himself back. Something stopped him from pushing too far. He was scared of something and Zuko was feeling a great empathy for him. But still didn't know what to do.

Sokka asked him if he was eating his rice and brought him down to earth. He shook his head and got rid of the thoughts, helped others to tidy up environ. Aang waved at him, Toph nudged her, Katara didn't look at his face. Sokka wished a good night to the ‘clumsy prince’. And the night was over. They all went to sleep.

Or, except Zuko, they all went to sleep. He was still thinking about teaching firebending to Aang. He paced back and forth in his room. Why was he scared of fire? He sat down on his bed.

Did he burn himself before? Or maybe it was a teacher of his? He hated the idea of someone burning the young Avatar. He laid down on his bed mattres. Maybe they have been just rude and Aang took a dislike of fire. It was possible and it was a better story. Alternatively, was it Azula's lighting? He shivered with the idea, once again, it was too bad to think of.

But there was even worse theories on his mind, so he just tired to shut his mind off for the night. Tomorrow, he was going to do something about it. He was going to act like his uncle and he was going to help Aang. And all the world therefore. It felt weird- helping all the world. He dived into an unrestful sleep.

Other day, while training, he stopped Aang. “Can you come here, please?” he said while sitting on the floor, examining his thoughts, finding the right question. When he was scared of fire, how did his uncle approached him?

“Is something wrong?” Aang said with a worrying under tone.

“No, I just wanted to ask you something,”

“Oh, okay. What is it?” Aang now was sitting in front of him, with a clear wonder in his face.

But Zuko still wasn’t sure of the question. So he asked the most simple one. “You did worked-uhm, with other fire bending teachers, right?”

“Yes,” said Aang, like he was remembering something very old. “there was Jeong Jeong.”

“Okay.” Zuko didn’t know if it was good or bad. Did Jeong Jeong make Aang afraid of fire, or is it something Aang himself gained?  
“Was he good?” he asked with a unclear voice. Did something occur when training with him?” 

Zuko wanted to ask if he hurted him, but he did not. He couldn’t. He now understood his uncle. Patience was something Zuko was foreign, but he had to be patient. It was disgusting, thinking about someone burning his student. His mind once again slipped into his uncle. A wave of shame burnt through his stomach. His uncle ruminated about his student a lot too. But the student decided to leave him.

“He didn’t want to teach me at all,” said Aang thoughtfully. “Avatar Roku made him teach me.”

Zuko didn’t question how Avatar Roku ‘made him to teach’. It sounded like an interesting story, but he could hear the story another time.

“Why he didn’t want to?”

“I am not sure. He was a good person, actually,” said Aang -and Zuko finally took a breath- “But I don’t think he liked the Fire Nation. He wasn’t a fan of his own nation. Or fire, at all.” Aang gave a faraway look. “Maybe he hated his own skill too. I am a little bit sad for him.”

Zuko made his move. It was probably the best time. “Do you feel like him too? I mean, sometimes, do you wish not to have this skill?”

“Monk Gyatso always says we shouldn’t be scared of who we are.” Was the mechanic answer of young student. 

Behind the words, behind the ‘should’s and ‘must’s, yes, he was afraid. Monk Gyatso also had a word for this feeling. Aang couldn’t remember the word. Instead, he looked like he was going to say something; he opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“But-” he added on, very slowly, “I did something bad. I burned Katara.”

Aang now looked like he was going to cry, because he was Aang. Of course, of course, Zuko thought, he would be petrified.

“Oh,” was all Zuko could manage to say.

“So you don’t really like fire, because of this?” he asked.

Aang didn’t answer, he was so lost in his own mind. Zuko was sure he was burning Katara repeatedly inside of his head now.

You can’t keep feeling shame for this.” Zuko said slowly. “I am sure Katara is good now, we all make mistakes. And you know me, I am the king of mistakes,” Aang smiled a little bit at that. “Those accidents doesn’t define anything. And, sorry, but you are twelve. Just relax. You are doing very good.”  
Aang didn’t looked like he was convinced.

“It was an accident. Just an accident, Aang!”

“I don’t think so,” he now was looking angry, “It really is my fault because I know what I was doing-”

“Oh,” Zuko mocked, “I understand, so you burned her in purpose?”

“No!” shouted Aang with red cheeks, “Never!”

“Then stop blaming yourself.” said Zuko, softly. “You have no reason to. You are a great person. You have forgiven everyone, you have forgiven me! You cannot be angry to yourself or to fire because you did a mistake. Nor you nor the fire doesn’t deserve that. Can you give it a chance?”

Aang became quiet. Zuko was right, maybe. Forgiving was important, he knew it. It could be hard when it came to the very person himself, but it was still important. Monk Gyatso would want him to forgive himself. However, Aang couldn’t stop thinking his face –grinning, cheerful, idiotic- and Katara’s face –shocked, hurt, incredulous- all while he was burning her. But he was right. He needed to look into the future. 

Aang took Zuko’s hand, they got up and they kept training on. First, Zuko believed he succeeded. Aang looked more up front. More unconstrained. More active. Soon it changed. It put Zuko in unease. Moreover, an uneasy Zuko made Aang uneasy. It went on that way, at the end of the day they were tired and Zuko was feeling they solved zero problems.

Once again they were eating beside the fire. This time he didn’t took food. He was just staring in to the flames.

Aang wasn’t scared of fire, maybe? Nobody hurt him with it. He wasn’t scared of the fire they gathered around and eat, right? His heart wouldn’t pound when he saw a candle, unlike Zuko. He wouldn’t get nauseous when Zuko fire bended in front of him. He hoped so.

He was scared of bending. He was afraid of using it, not fire itself. Monk Gyatso was right. He was scared of who he was, not the fire. Aang was finding himself a better teacher than Zuko, even in his own mind. Stupid Zuko. No other idiot was scared of fire other than Zuko. How could someone be? Aang just didn’t want any weapon. He was wise for a 12 year old. But of course he was wise, he was Aang.

“So are you scared of bending?” was the question the next day. They were sitting on the same place again in demand of Zuko. They have been training for hours but it was just a bunch of brusque, hesitant movements, so they have stopped once again.

Aang nodded with disgrace to the question. Bending was bad. Fire bending was a pain.  
And Zuko wasn’t doing it any better! 

Now he was working with Zuko! Zuko, the boy who had a big scar, a burn scar on his face. He didn’t wanted to hurt anyone. Not with his fire. That was all. Practising with someone clearly got hurt by fire before? No, thank you, he didn’t need to use fire at all.

“So you are not scared of the fire?”

“Hmm,” Aang considered it for a second. “Not really. I don’t want to use it, that's all.”

Zuko sighed, looked unsure of what he was going to ask. It was good. But he couldn’t believe Aang on it right away. It was a good new, only if it was true. He had to be sure. “I have one more question,” he said finally, “one of the heavy ones, would you let me?”

Aang nodded sharply. "Of course!"

“Is it anything to do with Azula’s lighting?”

Aang looked surprised for a moment. He considered it, and then he shook his head. Yes, it was one of the worst memories he had, but it had nothing to do with fire bending. His scar on his chest didn’t felt like the aftermath of fire bending. It was the aftermath of a conflict, a conflict with a stupid king and scary parallel politic structure. And Azula, of course. But not bending.

“While bending fire I don’t think of her, or lighting, no.” he remarked. “I think of Katara and-”

The rest of the sentence didn't come.

Zuko waited for the word. It took time, he knew it. Those things always took time. He felt some respect and longing for his uncle once again. His uncle was always, all along, right. He felt sick for betraying him once again once again. He was the king of mistakes and feeling the same feelings every other day. He remembered his theory and took a breath.

Then he asked something stupid.

“Is it anything to do with me, fire bending against you, before?”

Aang was clearly confused at the words, like he wasn’t remembering old days at all. 

“Did- did I do something to any of you? You know, I also didn’t mean to hurt Toph, but, I am sorr-”

“What? NO!” Aang looked like he didn’t know what to do at all. “Vice versa, Zuko!” He screamed. Zuko raised an eyebrow at the words.

“I sometimes think of you! I am scared of hurting you, or anybody at all!” said Aang finally, his voice was shattering. "But with your scar... It doesn’t help. I can’t stop thinking about Katara. I also can’t stop thinking about how it happened,” he now was gesturing Zuko’s scar with his hand slightly, eyes glassy.

“I know I talk about Monk Gyatso a lot.” He smiled with sorrow, how he was accomplishing this? Zuko didn’t know. Being happy and sorrowful at the same time…

“But he also always said observing was important. Enemy or your friend, doesn’t matter. Weakness or strength, doesn’t matter. I see you got tense when someone mentions the Fire Lord. I see you don’t like fire. I just don’t wanna attack you with fire. I don’t know what happened to you, or anything but... It feels thoughtless. I'm not thinking of 'you hurting me', it's the exact opposite.”

Oh. That was it. He was sorry then. His scar was scarring the kids. And Aang was just a child- with a friend -he hoped so- whom have had a very big scar. He was just a child- with a mission to save the world. He was so fragile, so pacifist, so kind... So Aang. He wasn’t really like anybody Zuko befriended before. His friends wasn't usually like that. Wasn’t usually this caring other ones feelings. But Zuko grew up on the Fire Nation, after all.

Then there was a question in the back of his mind. How could a boy who was scared of accidently burning him defeat his father, no, The Fire Lord, who had burned his own son on purpose?

Aang looked worried again, and the way Zuko was lost in his own thought was not helping him. “But I am sorry Zuko, I will be a better student, I will not get distracted-”

Zuko raised his hand slowly and put it on Aang’s wrist to stop him. “You are a good student, Aang, calm down.”

He sighed, his hand went to his scar unwittingly.

“I was once scared of fire, yes. Maybe I still am. But not working with you, Aang. I know you are a good person and wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose. You are scared of firebending. And how can I blame you? Fire is ruthless most of the time. It takes away so much. I am so sorry that I scare you that way.”

Aang was listening with concern and before he could reject the apology, Zuko talked on.

“But it’s only one side of the coin. There are much more fire can do. Fire is more than scars. More than hurting someone you love. More than hate. And I couldn’t learn it if uncle didn’t teach me. If he wasn’t there I would also think all fire could give us was pain, like you. But it is not.”

He cocked his head and looked at the sun for a while. Aang also did that. It could have been a cold day, but it wasn’t because sun was embracing them with everything she had. Sky was beautiful, for sure, with air and water in the clouds. But also with fire. With Sun. 

Stargazing was only good with stars and stars meant fire. Zuko remembered of how he and uncle talked about those. While he was still so scared of fire, uncle was there to show what fire is. And what it is not.

“I remember uncle talking to me about fire. He was saying that it was also the Sun that keeps you warm. The Sun that makes rainbows. The flare that heats your tea, the kind light that helps you read at night, the loving heat on a cold winter day. Fire is not always destruction. Your stupid teacher may be afraid of fire but not while training with his pacifist friend. Okay? Uh, well, of course if we are friends, I didn’t-”

“Of course we are Zuko!” Aang screamed with joy. His eyes shined again with something Zuko didn’t understand. His own lips also tried to project this shiny smile weakly.

“Thank you for being such an amazing teacher,” Aang said with sincere.

Zuko blushed and stuttered something about being an amazing student. Maybe he could understand the thing behind Aang’s eyes. Maybe this was a good kind of fire too: friendship.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue so every little piece of feedback is appreciated. (Seriously tell me my mistakes) Thank you for reading!


End file.
